Reflections
by Hannah Rubix
Summary: A fluffy little piece about memories from Seth, Summer, Ryan and Taylor. Townsend and Sethummer for sure. Each chapter contains a different memory from one of the new Fab Four. Warning: Slight Marissa bashing at some points.
1. Reflections

Disclaimer: I do not own the O.C. or anything involved.

This will be a series of memories from the new Fab Four: Ryan, Taylor, Seth, and Summer. Definite Sethummer and Townwood. First chapter from Seth's POV. Rate & Review lovelies!

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**Reflections**

It wasn't supposed to be like this. Nothing could be worse than this. He thought Anna leaving was bad; he thought Ryan leaving Newport for Chino was hell. But both of those were nothing, **nothing** compared to the hell he was going through now. Ryan going back to Chino and leaving him all alone in the O.C. would have been bad. He would've been shoved around, teased, hurt. He would've been ignored by everyone again; he would be Seth Cohen, and no one could stop it. Maybe if he had a little faith; if he saw that _she_had changed and that together, they could live through anything; his life would be good again. It would be bearable.

Ryan was back; that meant everything had to go back to the way it used to be. Right? Maybe leaving was a bad idea. Maybe sailing away on the boat he had named after _her _hadn't been the smartest thing to do. Maybe trying to stop thinking of his life, of his friends and family in Newport and making new friends in Portland was not the best idea. The worst thing he had done was trying to forget _her_, and all that she used to be, and all that she was. He had, however, succumbed to calling _her_ at last, only to be greeted by either her long, monotone message service, or a click and a dial tone. Once, and only once, she spoke to him. He never could get her words out of his head.

"_What the hell do you want from me Cohen?" Her voice rang in his ears as he grasped the phone in surprise. He didn't think she would answer him. The second he heard her sweet, smooth voice he was greeted by the image of her large, __sweet eyes darkening in anger. He had lost the ability to speak, so he just stared at his feet, picturing her pink lips angrily pursed._

"_I said, what do you want?!" Her voice came out shriller this time, and he cringed, both inwardly and outwardly. She was probably lying down on her shiny covers, her head in her hands as she mindlessly watched the television or read a magazine, and her feet dangling prettily in the air._

"_I-I…I just wanted to talk." His words finally came, stuttering out of his lips._

"_Talk?!" He listened to her frantic, bitter laugh as she echoed his words. "That ship sailed long, long ago. Just like you." Her words sounded hollow to him, broken and choked._

"_Summer…Summer please, please listen to me." He pleaded with her; who was he kidding? He needed her. _

"_Listen…I did enough of that last year. And where did that land me? With a boyfriend who didn't care enough to stay with me, and who calls me just to 'talk'. No, I'm done with that." Each word she spoke was a blow, hitting him square in the chest each time._

"_B-b-b-but I love you," he sputtered out, biting his bottom lip. He loved her, every fiber of his being needed to feel her with him, around him. Even when she ignored him, when she hated him, she was still there. She was still here; he could still see her smile, or in most cases, frown at him._

"_No you don't Cohen." Her words hit him hard, and Seth Cohen was ashamed to admit that his eyes started to water, and soon enough, a tear slid down his cheek. "You never loved me. Who were you kidding? Just leave me alone."_

"_Summer, please. Please." His words came out half choked, his eyes stared at the ground, refusing to look up at Luke's anxious figure which had just emerged from the house._

"_I'm done with this. So just don't talk to me. Ever." He could hear her sobs there, and he desperately wanted to cradle her in his bony arms. _

"_I need you." Those words rang true in his ears, and he heard another muffled sob, and finally a heated huff._

"_No! You can't do this to me. Don't make me feel bad. You left __**me**__ Cohen so don't start making me the bad guy. All you need is the heat of the chase, and the popularity boost I gave you. You just needed the protection, and nothing else. I'm done, we're done. For good." Her voice was angry, and it would've shattered his hear to pieces if it hadn't already been broken._

"_Summer-Summer don't. "He heard a click and the steady ring of the dial tone as soon as he uttered the S. "We-we're over," he stared in disbelief at the phone, and dropping it on the ground. He stated it again, for both his and Luke's benefit. And without another word, he quietly made his way into the house, into the guest bedroom, where Seth Cohen finally let himself collapse onto the bed and fall down in tears. _

Reflecting back on that now, as he got out of the car, ready for yet another day of torture at Harbor, he thought himself lucky not to have been a victim of one of her rage blackouts. At least she hadn't yelled at him. Who was he kidding? Those bitter, cool words were much wore than any one of her torrents. Those words were so un-Summer. They were the anti-Summer. The Summer he knew would've yelled for hours; she would've blamed him for everything over and over again. She would've forgiven him eventually, she would've said ''I love you too." All he got was a "No you didn't."

And did he stop making mistakes? No, Seth didn't. His latest one was trying to convince Summer he still loved her. Instead, he had made a fool of himself, and worse, her, in front of everyone, including Zach. Every word she had said at him in front of the car; every single word had been true. Except a few. He wasn't just after her for the chase, he wanted everything. He didn't just love her when he couldn't have her; he loved her all the time. He treasured every moment he spent with her; imagine him, Seth Cohen, dating the goddess, the absolute queen by the name of Summer Roberts!

He loved every single thing about her; he even found her rage blackouts beautiful and adorable, even when she was mad at him and scared him. He loved the way she bit her ripe lower lip when she was anxious or nervous; the way that same bottom lip protruded when she wanted something. He loved the way she wouldn't take no for an answer; he loved the way her large, doe-like eyes glinted with determination and sparkled with mischief. Even the way she was picky about the clothes she wore, and how she did her hair. There was no label to put her under. Definitely not Ice Queen, in no way a Bitch; not a Ditz, not a Fashionista. She was Summer Roberts; there was no label that she could fit under. She was cute, quirky even; smart, sweet, passionate, strong, confident, brave, and don't even start on her appearance. Piling into the school, walking among the water polo players and the preppy girls, Seth kept his eyes trained on the ground.

Ryan was probably studying, like he had been for awhile, and god knows where Marissa was, and who she was with. He was completely alone, and already had a blooming bruise on his shoulder from being shoved around the crowd. He couldn't stop his eyes from searching out the familiar small, bobbing brown head; the curvy body that he could never take his eyes off of. All of a sudden, he found his books on the ground and the brown head he was looking for furiously snatching her books back up.

"Summer…" He began, unsure of how to continue. Better to be awkward and apologetic than to be confident and defensive. Or, at least, that's what he thought. "Hey."

"Go away Cohen," she mumbled, her glossed lips pursed in an angry, irritated frown, one of the sexiest looks she had. Or at least it was in his opinion.

"Look Summer, I'm sorry." He bit his lip, more irritated with himself than with her.

"You're sorry. You should be."

"I really am. I didn't mean to embarrass you in front of your boy-…in front of _Zach._" He managed to say. "I just wanted to show you how much you mean to me."

"You showed me by running in front of Zach's car?! You showed me by breaking our promise; our shot at being friends? What you wanted was forgiveness, what you wanted was to win this little game you're playing. But I'm not playing it anymore." She got back on her legs, turning around to walk away and averting her eyes.

He did the only thing he could. Seth grabbed her shoulder and walked in front of her. "Summer, Summer please. I really am sorry. And I do, I do want to be **friends.**" He wanted to be so much more than that to her, but friends would do for now.

Summer rolled her beautiful eyes, but gave him a small smile. "Fine." He had to resist the urge to pump his fist up in the air triumphantly like he usually did. "But, and this is the one condition." He nodded, listening. "There will be no 'Summer I love you' or 'Summer, I want you back'. Friends are friends, and this is your last chance with me." With those words she stalked off, but managed to shoot him a smile. Seth Cohen grinned triumphantly, waited for her to turn to corner, let out a hoot, and pumped his fist up in the air. "Yes!" Unfortunately, he was Seth Cohen, and the next thing he felt was a hard shove and the hard metallic ground under his cheek."

…

"Aw, poor baby," Summer Roberts teased her boyfriend, shoving his shoulder playfully. Seth Cohen cursed lightly and took her in his arms, ignoring the light giggles coming from Taylor Townsend and Ryan Atwood's mouths.

"And that was how I ended up with that shiner. And how I got you back." He couldn't resist gloating again, and for that he earned a punch from Summer.

"I got to hand it to you man; you did a good job of getting Summer's forgiveness without being screamed at." Seth shrugged modestly, giving Ryan a high five and ignored Taylor and Summer's cries of protest.

"Well I think you did the right thing Summer. I mean, what was this boy thinking, leaving you all alone in Newport," Taylor teased, leaning on Ryan affectionately.

"I know, I know," Summer giggled, the girls doing their own versions of high fives.

"And again, I'm sorry for sailing away for three months." Seth kissed his girlfriend lightly on her head, and earned himself a small peck on the lips.

"It wasn't your entire fault," Summer began. "I mean, I wasn't being the most gracious girl ever. I was sort of being a bitch."

"Summer? A bitch? Never," Ryan taunted, wrapping Taylor up in his arms. "OK Roberts, time for your side of the story."

"Well," Summer started, eyeing Seth teasingly. "I think that you should go first Atwood, make it more suspenseful."

Ryan rolled his eyes, but Taylor's eyes had lit up. "Go Ryan. Please, I want to hear what you were thinking."

"Oh but Taylor, you always know what I'm thinking."

"Ryan…"

"Fine, here we go."


	2. Sunshine

Hehehe I adore all gooey, fluffy RT stories so I had to write one of my own. It's pretty bad, since I was watching T.V. while I wrote most of it, but I hope you like anyways. Review please loves!

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**Sunshine**

Her smile was like sunshine to him. It was wide, and white, and seemed to depict so many emotions at once. He didn't understand how she could smile so much or look so happy all the time. It was weird; it seemed her smile grew a little wider whenever she walked in the door of the restaurant. Her hazel eyes seemed to shine permanently with the sort of giddiness that affected everyone around her. But how often had he seen, had he caused the amber light in them to be dimmed, and for her eyes to shine with hurt instead of with joy? More times than he was willing to admit. Sometimes, her expression dimmed over the littlest things, like when he told her the restaurant was closing and she couldn't stay, but sometimes her face darkened when he hurt her, when he rejected her. He wasn't trying to reject her; he couldn't stand the way her gentle eyes went from excitement to disappointment in seconds; from overjoyed to vulnerable in mere moments.

She came to see him every day. He didn't ask her to, he didn't think he needed her to. But every day, Ryan would strain his neck to see if she was here yet; if it was time to get her the customary lemonade she ordered. And every day, Taylor would walk in the door at precisely 4 o'clock. Soon enough, he didn't even have to look for her. He had her lemonade ready for 4 o'clock so it was nice and cool for her, and she would come in, her heels clicking loudly on the cobble stoned floor and the sweet smell of peaches, his favorite fruit, wafting off of her. His eyes would train themselves on her glowing face, and he would listen to her pleased exclamations when she took a sip of her lemonade.

Another thing he couldn't understand about her was the way she seemed to know what he was thinking, and how he was feeling without him uttering a single word, a single sound. She practically knew him better than he knew himself. In fact, he was pretty sure she did. Sometimes she would just start laughing at something he said; other times, she would sit still and just look at him as he spoke, her honey brown eyes evaluating him. He didn't want to say the wrong thing and earn that wounded look again, so he would just look back at her, his electric blue eyes shyly looking into her gentle hazel eyes. Sometimes she would surprise him by putting her hand on top of his modestly. But he always pulled his away, and she would brush her brown locks back and rush out. But she always came back, no matter what, and soon he felt comfortable with her hand under his.

Their relationship was tumulus, but he enjoyed almost every twist and turn in it. Her chipper voice never failed to bring him out of some of his darkest moods, and he subconsciously spent the whole day waiting for her to show up. His eyes would stray from her beaming face to her tight body, his cheeks would flush, and he would remind himself where he was, and what he was supposed to be doing. So he tried to remain distant and aloof, but she never failed to make him smile, laugh, and talk. But now their status shifted, and he wasn't sure what to do. He, Ryan Atwood, had made out with Taylor Townsend in Summer's closet, playing a game of seven minutes in heaven. Apparently their relationship was 'only physical' right now, but with Taylor, you never could tell. Looking up at the clock, he realized it was 3: 01 and she wasn't here yet. He was afraid he had done something wrong, and his mind was clouded by dark thoughts. But then the clicking of heels made its way to his ears, and he smiled in spite of himself.

"Taylor, you're late." He said, surprised at the teasing tone his voice took on. He barely acted like this anymore; he didn't have much to be anxious for. Well, he didn't before, until now.

"I know, I know. I'm sorry, but there was traffic and Summer couldn't find Pancakes and Seth was on the phone with her so I had to look for him, and then Kaitlyn wanted me to drop her off at the Pier, but it took her a few minutes to get ready, and…I'll just stop talking now." Ryan smiled wryly as she sat down on the bar stool in front of him, her auburn waves unkept and all over her back. "I was rambling, I should stop that," she muttered to herself, a habit he happened to find adorable.

"Your lemonade getting warm," he noted, loving the way her face lit up all over again when she saw her lemonade set out for her. "And don't worry about it. It's not like I was waiting for you or anything." He should've kept his mouth shut, the words he said even stung him.

Her formerly bright eyes welled up with the wounded expression he hated so much. "Oh." Came her single reply.

He sighed. "Taylor, that's not what I meant-"Unfortunately, she was off on one of her rants again.

"I mean, I know I said what we were doing was only physical and I was only going to use your body like a jungle gym, but, I thought that maybe you thought a bit higher of me than that. And I feel like I deserve to at least be respected, seeing as you clearly don't respect me, with your 'I wasn't waiting for you' and the way you can't even look at me. Do you know how it feels, Ryan, to have someone-"

He cut her off by pressing his lips against hers, breathing in her sweet scent and gently moving his lips with her. Instead of pushing him off, like he thought she would, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer over the bar. He slowly blinked, his mind blank of all thoughts except the feelings of their lips touching, and her body pressed up against part of his. Her lips were soft and they moved against his eagerly, but softly, trying not to push herself too far. He didn't want to pull away; he practically couldn't tear himself off of her sweet tasting lips, but he ad to. He had work, and tables to clean.

"Wh-what was that for? I mean, I thought we were only going to be physical, private and stuff," she confessed, her cheeks a light pink color and her eyes trained on the table.

"Taylor, Taylor look at me." Ryan took her chin in his hands and turned her face to look at him. He gently brushed a piece of hair off of her smooth cheek and smiled.

"Uhuh," she said lightly, her face hopeful, but her eyes cautious.

"I think that if we're going to know each other like that; that we might as well be considered a couple." He had spent much of his time thinking about this, and it was what he wanted. He wanted her to be his; he wanted to hold her in his arms all the time, no matter when or where. She was special, she was different, and he wouldn't be able to deal very well if he saw her with another guy, if he saw her being as intimate and as chipper with another guy. There was Henri Michael before him, but Taylor assured him it was over.

"Are you sure?" She asked cautiously, running her fingers up and down his arm. He knew what it must be like for her, with her mother and all. But also what it was like for her to be seen with him. People must compare her with Marissa all the time. People said she wasn't as pretty, or as perfect as Marissa, but in his eyes she was. Taylor Townsend was perfect in his eyes, and he wasn't willing to lose her just because of gossip, and because of nerves. **He wasn't going to screw up. **Not like he had with Marissa, or with Sadie, he was going to make this work. Maybe he still had feelings for Marissa. But those feelings weren't romantic; they were nostalgic. All he wanted now was to be with Taylor, and by the twinkle in her eyes he guessed she wanted to be with him too.

"Would I be telling you his if I wasn't?" He joked, smiling tenderly at her. All of a sudden, Taylor let out a squeak and hugged him tightly.

"Yay!!!" She said meekly, and then giggled. He gently pried her arms off of him, but kept one of her hands in his.

"Would you like to go on our first official date tonight?" He asked, grinning at her joyful expression.

"Of course," she said, getting up from the chair. "What brought on this sudden change of heart, Ryan?" She asked, twirling some of her auburn locks around her finger curiously.

"You and Summer's party. I don't want just a piece of you, Taylor, I want the whole thing," he admitted, still smiling at her curiosity. She flushed and he put down the towel. "Listen, I have the rest of the night off. So do you want to go to the movies or something?"

Taylor let out something remarkably close to a squeal and grasped his hand again. "Definitely," she said, leading him out of the restaurant. "But first…" His mouth opened in surprise moments before she pressed her lips against his and gently poked her tongue through his lips.

Tentatively, he pushed her away. "Come on, we're going to miss the movie." Hand in hand, they walked off into the theater, Taylor beaming and Ryan smiling loosely. Nothing could feel as good as this.

…

"Awww that was adorable. I didn't know you were so sentimental Atwood," Summer said, smacking Ryan lightly.

"Hey hey hey, I was just trying to give this lady what she deserved," Ryan replied, laughing as he turned to face Taylor. To his surprise, her eyes were wide with tears. "What's wrong?"

"Ryan, you know." When he shook his head, she smiled slightly. "What you said was so sweet and so romantic. Come here," she fell into his chest, wrapping her arms around him and kissing him.

"Hey you two; get a room," Seth complained, shoving his brother as hard as Seth Cohen could.

"Shut up Cohen, it was sweet," Summer said, snuggling up to her boyfriend.

Pulling away, Taylor grinned. "OK Summer, it's your turn this time. We want to hear all about your gooey, romantic moments with Seth."

"Not all of us," Ryan added quickly, earning himself a smack from Taylor and one from Summer, causing Seth to burst into laughter.

"But you guys have to know them all," Summer protested, but Seth turned her face around.

"Please?" He asked the innocent, pleading look in his eyes.

"Fine, but only for you Cohen," Summer agreed, crossing her arms. "But it won't be all fluffy and gooey like Atwood's story."

"Of course not." Ryan muttered, rolling his eyes.

"Shut up," Summer shoved him, getting a glare from Taylor.

"Come on Summer," both Taylor and Seth whined in unison, eager to hear her story.

"Alright, alright. It started off like Cohen's story, but not so apologetic and wimpy…"


	3. Flames

This one isn't as long as the others, but I had a lot of fun typing it. I greatly dislike Anna, she bugged me. Basically anyone who seperated SS bugs me :D. I had fun writing about an angry Summer and an embarrassed Taylor anyways. Review please loveys!

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**Flames**

Summer Roberts hated that blond tramp. She was in no mood to talk to anyone. She had already thrown all of her pillows on the ground and had stomped on them repeatedly. She had torn the blankets off of her bed, but put them back on minutes later. At least there was no one around her to feel her wrath, but how badly she wished there was a particular blond that she could stomp on like the pillows. The pillows were soft and flabby; they weren't that satisfying to stomp on. But they got a bit of her anger out, and no matter how much she wanted to deny it, they had caught more than a couple stray tears. She couldn't be crying over this again, **she couldn't! **Summer Roberts was no crybaby, she didn't get her heart broken easily, and especially not by someone who was below her on the school's social ladder. She had cried enough over **him**, and she wanted to stop. But every day, seeing **them**at school just made her feel like hiding out at home, eat loads of chocolate and chips, and just cry herself to sleep. She had been cheated on before; she had other people pick other girls over her. But this time it was so much more personal, so much more intimate. She had practically poured her heart out to **him**, and now she was alone.

Maybe she shouldn't have fallen for him so quickly. But, in her defense, she didn't know she was falling in love with Seth Cohen until one day she realized it. He was cute, sweet, funny, and smart. Almost perfect. So what if he wasn't on the water polo team? He listened to her, and he liked her. He didn't think she was a ditz; he didn't underestimate her like everyone else did. She gave him practically everything. She almost, _almost_ gave him her virginity, and sacrificed her popularity, her status. She dressed up as freaking Wonder Woman for him for his holiday, Chrismukkah! But he picked that blond tramp, that conniving, intelligent, female version of himself over her. She was going to give him her everything, and make him her everything, but somehow the tables turned on her and she had nothing. She had three **friends**, two of which (Coop and Atwood), were dating, and she was in love with the third. Not to mention she had a father, a best friend, who was barely ever home, and a step-monster who was too high on the anti-depressants of the week to give a crap about Summer's life. Or worse, she tried to make Summer's life a living hell.

But this wasn't the step-monster's fault. It was **hers**, the blond tramps. The tramp reminded her of the step-monster, how she had come and wrecked Summer's life and took the one thing she needed, the one thing she **craved**. Anna Stern, blond geek and tramp extraordinaire who was as much of a bitch as Holly was, or at least in Summer's attention. She and Anna could've been friends; Anna was spunky and strangely smart, and pretty in the unique way that no one realized was pretty until they spoke to her. But now Anna had **him**, everything Summer ever wanted, and she wasn't about to give him up. So Summer focused on the bad in Anna, everything about her that could be hated. Whenever she talked to Cohen now, it was Anna this and Anna that. They even wore matching scarves, for goodness sake! Dating Danny probably wasn't the best of her ideas, but he was pretty funny, until he went big and all out. So now Summer was stuck alone once again, having to suffer watching Cohen and Anna cuddle and tease.

Was she the only one that saw those two more like brother and sister than girlfriend and boyfriend? They both loved comics, they were both huge nerds, and Anna seemed to give him advice on everything from clothes to girls. Why was Cohen with _her _instead of Summer? Had she done something wrong? Summer dressed up like freaking Wonder Woman for him and he chose Anna! Why? God knows why. She stomped down angrily on another one of her pillows before flopping down onto her bed, holding Princess Sparkles to her chest. She wiped the tears from her eyes, determined not to cry over Cohen anymore. She would never cry over **him**, and _her _anymore. She was too good for him anyways; she had to keep telling herself that. And maybe someday she would believe it.

Seth Cohen was the only one willing to dig deep enough to find the real Summer Roberts, not the shallow, girly one, but the one who was fiery, and who protected the weakest, even it was a squirrel, and who could actually hold an intelligent conversation. But instead of taking care of her, of letting her find out more about the real Seth Cohen, he rejected her. He chose Anna freaking Stern over her! So now she was going to ignore him. She had to; it was for her own sanity. She couldn't keep crying over Cohen; it couldn't be good for her. She heard a knock at her door and dove to the floor, somersaulting so she managed to pick up all the pillows. Throwing them down on her bed, she yelled," Come in."

Seth Cohen anxiously entered her room, his curls flattened by some sort of hat he had clearly been wearing. "Hey Summer," he said, waving awkwardly.

"Cohen." She managed to keep her voice disdainful and monotone without giving away any sort of excitement and giddiness she felt at hearing that name. Did he notice the way her cheeks flushed red when he walked into the room? Could he hear the loud beating of her heart, the anxiety with which she moved her body?

"What happened in here?" No, he clearly did not. Stepping into the room, Cohen took a look around and pointed at the mess on the bed.

"What?" Summer replied, putting her hand on her hip rudely. Best to let him think she was back to the old Summer, the one who would never dress as Wonder Woman. Maybe that would show him how she felt. As he pointed still, her cheeks flushed redder. "I was just…trying to strip!" Seeing his wide eyed expression, she rolled her eyes. "My sheets, Cohen, my sheets."

"Then why are your sheets still on, Summer?" He asked, clearly enjoying himself a little too much for his tastes.

"What do you want me to tell you?" She suddenly demanded angrily, viciously. "That I trashed my room because I was sad? That I ruined my pillows because of you and Anna? Sorry Cohen, don't mean to burst your little bubble, but I was just trying to fix my sheets."

Those words felt good to say, a welcome release for all the anger and the resentment she was feeling. "N-no," Cohen shook his head, his curls flying everywhere; momentarily stung. "I just th-thought that…You know what, never mind."

He was too good at this, at the whole 'get inside her mind and play tricks on her' thing. Putting her other hand on her hip, Summer pursed her lips. "What do you want?" She said, exasperated. She was tired of all these little games, because that was all they would ever be. Games. There would be a winner and a loser; but she had already lost the only important one.

"I just wanted to ask if you wanted to come to the movies with me, Marissa, Ryan, and Anna."

Up until that name, she was starting to cool off. "So you want me to be the third-no, the fifth-wheel on your little date?" She repeated, her voice starting to get a hard edge to it.

"No Summer," he shook his head quickly. "I just thought since we were all friends…we could hang out."

She laughed bitterly. "What? You mean me watch the movie while you make out with Anna, and Coop makes out with Ryan? I don't think so."

He looked visibly disappointed, and much to her dismay, she felt a stab of pity for him as he backed out into the hallway. "OK, fine. I was just asking, being friendly and all."

"Maybe I don't want to be just your friend!" Summer managed to spit out before slamming the door in his face."

"Huh-Summer, Summer come. Let me back in the room. I want to talk to you." She waited until she heard the footsteps go down the stairs, and a car start up before she buried her face into one of her pillows and cried over Seth Ezekiel Cohen for the last time. Or so she thought.

…

"See Cohen?" Summer elbowed her boyfriend. "You really hurt my feelings." She pouted, teasing him. Much to her surprise, Ryan and Seth were laughing and Taylor was smiling.

"That blond tramp? I thought you were friends with Anna, Summer?" Ryan managed to ask through his laughter.

"I was, but you should've seen me when Cohen picked her over me. That's why we had to get that new lamp."

There was silence all around, with Ryan and Taylor looking at Summer with surprised expressions, and Seth with a mix of shock and horror on his face.

"Kidding guys, I was just kidding," Summer laughed, with Taylor and Ryan joining in.

"Did I ever apologize for that? It has to be one of the biggest mistakes I've ever made." Seth gave his girlfriend a small kiss, and then grinned. "Though I did find it kind of funny, you trashing your room."

"OK, ok, if we're done making fun of me I think it's Taylor's turn." Summer grinned at her best friend.

"No!" Taylor groaned, hiding her face in her hands. "You guys, this is embarrassing."

"We know," Summer, Seth, and Ryan said in unison.

"Come on Taylor. Please? For me?" Ryan tried out his best pout on her and it seemed to work.

"Fine. But-"

"No buts."

"Will you just let me talk?"

"Go ahead."


	4. Cheese

This should be one of the funnier chapters. Once again, I was half asleep while writing this, so it may no be as good as my other chapters. And I know the whole 'cheese' thing is sort of random, but Taylor is sort of odd, so it was good for her. Besides, I think Ryan said something at some point about the way Henri-Michel smelled. Hopefully, I did them justice.

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**Cheese**

The one thing that bugged her above all else was the over powering odor of **cheese** that seemed to follow him everywhere. Well, it didn't bug her anymore. But still, when she was with him, all she could ever smell was wine and cheese. It was like something out of a bad comedy, but it was true; Henri-Michel smelled of cheese and wine. He didn't even smell like good wine; he smelled like the crappy kind that kids brought to parties. Not that Taylor had ever been to one of those parties, but she was pretty sure that was what bad wine smelled like. Even now, stretching in a different, clean bed, she was grateful that the over powering scent of cheese had gone away, for good, hopefully. Lifting her head up from the pillow, she realized she wasn't in her bedroom, or even in her –well, Summer's- house. The room she was in, however, she knew well. The sun was shining through the almost closed blinds; the blankets were almost completely at her calves, leaving only the sheets to keep her warm. She hugged the sheets to her chest, smiling faintly.

She admired the sight in front of her, her lips curving up into a large smile. Ryan Atwood was lying in bed, asleep and breathing heavily. His normally sleepy blue eyes were peacefully closed, his pink lips twisted into an upwards smile. The one thing that got to her though was the expression on his perfect, tanned features. His expression depicted complete and utter vulnerability. He almost looked childlike, peaceful and happy with the world. It was unlike the hardened expressions he wore when he was thinking nowadays; it was even unlike the remarkable smiles he wore around her. Taylor had never seen **him** look more beautiful, more incredible. Knowing this moment couldn't last forever, she propped her head up on her elbow and watched him sleep; content in watching the rise and fall of his chest.

What was she thinking, trying to live without him? Not only that, but before the whole 'therapy' attempt, she had almost gone back to Henri-Michel, her ex husband! Never again would she ever try something like that, never. Stalking him had been one of the smartest, but also one of the worst ideas she had ever had. At least he hadn't completely written her off and left her. His little 'stalking each other' game was fun, too much fun. She never wanted the night to end, but the end it had come to was more than better. They had ripped off each others clothes and ended the night filled with passion, the kind she had missed with Henri-Michel. Thinking over all of it now, she never wanted to see that man again. She never wanted to go back to France; she never wanted to leave **him**. She knew he needed her, she knew that she was one of the few reasons he had stayed in Newport, he had stayed **alive**.

But in reality, in her mind; it was him who had saved her. If it weren't for Ryan Atwood, she would probably be in France right now, married to a man who could barely speak English, stuck in a loveless marriage. But now, she was in love. She was sure of it. Maybe she was being a little quick, a little ballsy, but she had never felt like this before. Even though she was Taylor 'Dorksend', she had been with her fair share of guys. And none of them made her feel like this, not even Henri-Michel. She couldn't begin to explain the feelings she felt. It was sweeter than chocolate, brighter than the sun, deeper than the deepest hole ever dug. Of course, if she told Ryan this, he would probably freak out and Taylor would be alone forever. Or worse, she would go running back to France so that she could feel loved, adored, for one of the few times in her life.

But, in her own way, she may have helped him a bit. As much as a self conscious, crazy, perky, somewhat slutty divorcee could. Maybe he didn't think of her like that, but all those adjectives seemed to describe what she thought of herself. She looked at his face again, and at the bulging muscles in his arms, unable to look away. She was transfixed in watching him breath, even angling her head better so she could see him. Maybe not all of her stalker like tendencies were gone, but at least he knew she was here and she wasn't following him. He was too beautiful; this was surreal. It would be an understatement to say that she felt like the luckiest girl in the world. Suddenly, Ryan started to stir, and she squealed in surprise.

His eyes opened slowly, drowsily as she tried to hold back laughter. "Taylor," he rasped, drawing her into his arms. She looked at him hypnotically, smiling foolishly.

"Good morning Ryan.'' She said, her voice sounding a little too giddy, but she was in too good of a mood to catch herself from being so…cheerful.

"Morning?" he squinted, his bright eyes adjusting to the sun. She felt like kissing him right then, because he looked too adorable. This was as close as she got to seeing him drunk, or as a child.

"Yeah. I guess we got a little carried away last night." She giggled, gesturing to the pool house, and then to her body, only barely covered by the sheets.

"Carried away? Well, I had fun." Ryan murmured, drawing her close again. She couldn't imagine wanting to be anywhere other than here; she couldn't imagine ever wanting to leave him.

'So did I…" She replied at last, finally pecking him lightly on the lips. He drew her as close as humanly possibly, their bodies pressing together in a heat that she could barely control. She moved her lips against him in familiar ways, but there was also an added passion, an added heat. He gently pried her lips open with his tongue, and she gratefully allowed his tongue entrance only to start massaging his tongue with her own. She ran her fingers through his hair, her heart pounding, and her blood boiling under her skin. He took one of her legs and anchored it on his hip, his rough skin moving against her smooth leg.

Taylor giggled in the kiss as he seemed to smile, her lips barely breaking the contact with his. She felt him sucking on her lower lip, and to please him, she gently nibbled on his lip. He seemed to like that, and rolled her over onto her back as she arched her back against his. The sheets were rumpled, but everything was too hazy in this display of passion. Ryan slowly put his hand under the sheets, first moving up her soft stomach. She sighed in approval as he moved his hand upward, fondling her breast. "Hey Ry-AH! Crap, sorry, sorry!"

Taylor held back a gasp as she turned around to face the door, and Seth Cohen, who was holding his hands over his eyes like he had been burned or something. He kept mumbling about how sorry he felt, and she heard Ryan groan.

"Seth, could you shut the door?" He asked, reacting far faster than Taylor did. She bundled herself up in the sheets and the blankets before curling up to look at the two of them.

"Listen, I didn't mean to walk in on you two. It's just that it's morning, and time for coffee and brooding…You should've locked the door!" Seth yelped, walking out of the pool house.

"Yeah, well you should've knocked!" Ryan yelled as Seth closed the door before turning around and facing Taylor with a smirk, who as doing a bad job of holding in laughter.

"Where were we?" He asked, smiling smally, as if teasing her.

"Right here," Taylor laughed mischievously as she pulled him under the covers.

…

"That was adorable Taylor!" Summer said, trying to catch her breath after all that laughter. "And just like Cohen, he had to wreck the moment."

Seth was busy scrunching up his features in disgust. "I still haven't been able to get those pictures out of my head."

"Hey," Taylor said, smacking him on the head lightly. "I don't look that bad."

"You definitely don't," Ryan muttered. "Especially not naked."

''Ryan!" Taylor squealed, laughing while Summer and Seth looked at them, disgusted.

"Can you two stop the PDA for like, a minute?" Seth asked, rolling his eyes.

"That's how we feel about you and Summer," Ryan said, Taylor nodding in agreement and still laughing.

"So I have a question. How come after every one of these stories I end up getting hit?" Seth asked, angrily crossing his arms.

"Cause you keep wrecking the moments Cohen," Summer responded, shoving his arm.

"Abuse!" He shouted, smirking faintly at his small girlfriend.

"Shut up Cohen."

"Anyways…Seth, it's your turn again!" Taylor replied, relieved her turn was over.

"Is not."

"Seth…" Ryan shot him a warning glance.

"Fine…But this time, no Summer."

"Cohen!"

"Just trying to bring some variety."

"Just start already."


	5. Medal of Honor

Sorry this took so long to complete and post. I just had so much work to do, but it's almost all finished now. I read some amazing Ryan/Taylor's and I feel sort of honored to be in the Peaches community. Hope you guys like this chapter, it took awhile for my creative juices to start flowing again. Rate & Review please!

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**Medal of Honor**

There was only one thing that helped Seth Cohen relax, and that thing was going to take over his weekend. He had specifically holed himself up in Ryan's pool house for the day. Well, Ryan didn't know it yet, but when he got out of the shower he would understand their plans. Seth had already popped the game into the Playstation and was sitting on the floor, waiting. Beside him, Seth had a pile of Magic the Gathering cards. Today was going to be some Ryan/Seth bonding time; he would make sure of it. Besides, he didn't want to go outside into the bright sunshine and see all the Newpies glowing in their Christmas preparations. So, he had set up everything he and Ryan needed for guy time. Well, maybe he didn't really know what to do during guy time, but as long as there was Playstation, comic books, and Magic they were good. Besides, he needed to talk to his sort-of brother about the whole Anna/ Summer situation.

How was he supposed to choose between two good things? He had gone over his reasoning a million times over and over again in his head, and now he figured Ryan could help him out. Well, sort of. Maybe Seth just wanted an excuse to have someone make the decision for him and this was the way that he would get it. But that was his choice, and as long as he got **some **help with this, he would be alright. "Jesus," he muttered impatiently as he waited for Ryan to get out of the shower. That guy might not look it, but sometimes he took a freakishly long time just to get ready. Sitting here, alone, in the pool house, Seth had nothing other to do than ponder his problem. How was he supposed to choose between two great things? It was like choosing between Wonder Woman and the Invisible Woman, Mary Jane and Lois Lane, Catwoman and Batgirl.

Seth tapped his fingers on his legs, Death Cab playing on the radio he had conveniently placed next to him. Anna was more like…not vanilla, she was more like a dog. Cute, friendly, affectionate, and intelligent. But Summer, she was definitely more like a feline. Sneaky, beautiful, smart, and popular yet aloof. How was he supposed to choose between a cuddly dog and a seductive cat? Seth shook his head, a groan escaping his mouth. Comparing two girls that drove him wild to household pets had sort of creeped him out. Maybe those weren't the right comparisons. Oh well, he'll ask Ryan about that too. That would be if his brother ever got out of the shower. He didn't know it took so long for a guy to get ready. It didn't take Seth that long. Well, unless he was going to see Summer, then it took him awhile to pick out what he was going to wear. So what if that sounded gay, it didn't matter.

"Ryan," he said, looking back behind him once he heard the bathroom door open and saw his brother walk into the room, fully clothed and rubbing his head. Seth shot the guy a sheepish smile before looking back at the T.V. "Sit. I brought us Medal of Honor, Magic, Death Cab, and food. All we need for a guys day." He grinned, proud of his plans. Hopefully Ryan would agree to this day, because if he didn't than Seth was basically screwed and would have to face one or both of the girls. He might have to beg for a bit, but Ryan hadn't let him down yet.

"Hey," Ryan nodded at him wordlessly before sitting next to him on the ground. Seth gaped at him for a moment before turning back to the T.V. No begging sounded good. "I wanted to talk about Ma-"

Seth held up a hand. "No Ryan, my man. I brought the supplies, which means I get to talk first." He grabbed one of the Playstation consoles and gestured for Ryan to grab one. "The chips are by the door, but I thought we'd save those for later."

"Seth…" Ryan began, but he held up his hand again. "Fine," Ryan grumbled, grabbing onto the console and pressing one of the buttons. "But when you're done-"he finished off by muttering something inaudible.

"So, about Summer and Anna. Dude, I can't pick. It's not like picking between chocolate and vanilla; it's actually harder than that. I mean, Anna is special, but I've liked Summer forever. Anna seems to know me better, but Summer has never gotten the chance." He looked at Ryan out of the corner of his eye since the guy seemed to be laughing.

"I'm not going to help you choose which girl you're going to hook up with, Seth." Ryan paused for a moment. "Wow. I never thought those words would come out of anyone's mouth."

Seth groaned in protest. "Dude, look at them. Anna is like a smoothie. But Summer, Summer's like a mixed drink, like a Strawberry Daiquiri or a Mojito. Anna is a little bit wild, and Summer isn't as…serious. But dude, I think I like both of them."

"Really?" Ryan replied sarcastically. "I think everyone realized that when you made out with both of them at Thanksgiving."

"Don't remind me about **that**," Seth replied, embarrassed all over again. "But Summer is smart, aloof, popular, hot, funny, silly, quirky, and did I say hot? But Anna; she's weird, sweet, sarcastic, witty, pretty, cute, intelligent, cunning, and observant. You would think Anna would be the perfect girl for me, but Summer is just so unbelievable and incredible and perfect…"

He didn't realize he was chatting about Summer until Ryan nudged him. "Then go for her. Summer, I mean, since you think so much about her."

Seth sighed. "But Ryan, man, its way more complex then that. Anna is amazing too, just in all different ways. I guess in your point of view, it would be like choosing between a Hummer and Porsche or whatever those cars you like are called."

Ryan rolled his eyes again. "Seth, I'm not choosing which girl is going to be your girlfriend. You're a big boy, I think you can choose."

"But Ryan," he lowered his voice. "I don't want to hurt either of their feelings. Anna would be crushed and I wouldn't have a best- I mean **second** best friend any more. And Summer, she would pretend to be all mean and not caring, but she would be shattered. I mean, you know how I am. Dude, I just don't want either of them to feel like I feel when my dreams have been crushed."

Ryan looked at Seth. "I'm sorry man, I didn't know you were so…sensitive," he teased, blue eyes flashing. "Just pick soon, because leading both of them on will hurt them more than choosing one of them will."

"Yeah?" Seth asked, piecing his brother's words together. "Well what if I don't want either of them!" At Ryan's laughter, Seth groaned. "I'm whipped man, over two girls. I didn't think that was possible." After a few more teasing blows, Ryan won the game and pumped his fist up in the air. Before he could even open his mouth, Seth shoved him. "Shut up."

…

"That was your big story?" Summer asked skeptically, lifting her head from her boyfriend's chest to look him in the eye. "Cohen, it was barely interesting."

Seth rolled his eyes. "Just because it wasn't about you, Summer, my love, doesn't mean it wasn't interesting."

"Wasn't that the day you stuffed yourself with chips and ended up puking it all up 'because you caught Marissa's flu?" Ryan asked, placed his arm affectionately and somewhat protectively around a laughing Taylor.

"Urgh, yeah. It took me forever to get over that flu. And I sort of remember puking in your sneakers." Seth looked down in embarrassment.

"Well, it was nice to hear about the little love triangle, since I wasn't friends with any of you back then." Taylor said, her bright smile fading as she muttered, "Or anyone."

"Taylor, you must've had some friends," Ryan replied, trying to ignore Summer's frantic gestures trying to show him not to reply.

"If the janitor counts, then yes. I spent my time eating in the janitor closet since no one would sit with me. I pretended I had friends, but no one liked me." Taylor fiddled with her pinky nail nervously.

Summer scooted closer to her best friend. "Tay, what's past is past. You have us now, a bunch of people who love you."

Taylor put her cheery smile back on, but Seth saw tears shining in her eyes. "Yeah, we'll be here for you. Just don't cry, cause then Summer will start and Ryan might get a little teary-" He couldn't even finish because he felt three hands strike him. "Ow!"

"Thanks you guys," Taylor said, her voice cracking a bit.

To change the subject, Seth stepped in before more tears could fall. "Ryan's turn!" He declared. "Man, I am glad that's over."

Ryan glared at him, mockingly putting his hands behind his head. "Fine, but I could get some facts wrong. It takes effort, digging up memories, especially of…her." While Seth and Summer nodded in sympathy and agreement, Taylor paled a little. "And that's why I'm only going to be talking about the now and stuff."

Though he doubted anyone else had noticed, he saw the way Ryan was looking at Taylor and knew this story would have something to do with the love of his brother's life.


	6. Sight

I had a huge amount of fun writing this even though I was half practicing my Romeo & Juliet lines while writing. I sort of hate Marissa, and I made her pretty catty, but I had to have Summer defend her cause they were close. Hopefully Ryan didn't sound like he hated Marissa, lol. Rate & Review loves!

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** Sight**

He watched her. Not in that creepy, stalker way that Seth had looked at Summer when she was with Zach, he just saw her. He wondered if he was the first person to **see **her, the first person to take a good look at her. No one else seemed to care about her, no one else even bothered to look at her. She was always just there, unless Summer brought her up and told everyone to try and avoid her. But she seemed pretty much harmless in his eyes. He had seen worse in Chino, he had seen worse **Newpsies** than Taylor Townsend. According to Summer, the girl was a mini Newpsie. She schemed, she gossiped, she coveted Social Chair, and she was just so perky, but so cunning. Maybe he should stop listening the his brother's girlfriend, but she seemed to know so much about Harbor and stuff that he felt sort of glad she had 'warned' him about Taylor.

To him, the girl seemed sort of harmless. Most likely she was so uptight and conniving for a reason. Besides, anyone that cheerful couldn't be all bad. She wasn't bad to look at either. The only good thing about Marissa not coming to Harbor anymore was that now he had a chance to look at Taylor without Marissa's high pitched complaints coming from behind him. He still felt bad that it was basically his fault that Marissa got kicked out of private school, but she did need a dose of reality. His girlfriend seemed to think that he would do anything to save her, that she was special and she needed a man to protect her. At her new school, she probably befriended the first guy who came along. But Harbor was a lot different now, different in a good way. He didn't have to worry about being perfect and impressing Marissa so that another Oliver doesn't come around.

His blue eyes followed the tight body that was making its way up to the front of the classroom. He licked his lips as Taylor Townsend crossed her legs, causing her already short skirt to ride up her thighs a bit more. If he didn't know any better, he would swear she could tell he was watching her. But just looking at her smooth, tan skin made him clench his fists in anger. Every time he saw her, he felt a small surge of hate fill his body because all he could picture was Dean Hess with his filthy paws all over **his**- well, not his- Taylor. Looking at her now, she didn't look like she could have ever had an affair with the Dean of Discipline. She looked vulnerable, and innocent, sweet and oddly enough, alluring. He didn't like thinking of the blond man touching, feeling the girl who was in the front of the classroom. Summer thought that Taylor knew what she was doing when she first started seeing Hess. But Ryan knew better.

He could see the way her amber eyes would shine with unshed tears whenever someone brought up the subject of Hess and saw her cheeks flush. He would've bet anything that she hadn't had a clue what Dean Hess wanted from her until the man had first touched her. He bet she was scared, but wanted to be considered powerful and in control, so she didn't report him. He bet she hadn't had a single clue about what she was getting into when the Dean started to feel her up. Thinking about Hess's slimy hands on Taylor's smoother skin, on her cheek, her neck, her collarbone… He shook his head, clenching the seat he was sitting on in anger. The Dean of Discipline was gone now, Sandy was sure of it. But Taylor was still here, and it was Taylor who had to deal with Summer's harsh words and Seth's comments on her taste. It was Taylor who had to deal with ridicule ay after day, and nothing anyone would ever do would help her.

He watched her all of class, watched her raise her hand to answer each question the teacher asked but only get called on once. He watched her take notes with a green pen in a small pink notebook. He watched her brush her auburn locks off of her face, he watched her whisper the answers to the people beside her when the math teacher asked them a question. Finally, class was over and he was out of that classroom. Looking at her tan, slim legs for that long had practically driven him crazy. Walking out into the hallway, he heard a small voice pipe up behind him. "Hi Ryan." The cheery voice said and he knew who it was instantly.

"Taylor. What's up?" He was going to ask her what she wanted, but couldn't bear to watch the hazel light dim from her wide eyes.

"Just heading to Social Committee. I was wondering if I could ask you something." Her lips curved up in a bright smile, and he couldn't refuse that look. She looked strangely desperate, as if she was still trying to get things under control. "I know I already sort of asked you and Seth, but I really wanted you to know that your help setting up for the lock in would really be appreciated."

"That's not a question, Taylor," Ryan replied, expertly avoiding the crowds in the hallway.

"Well, could you please, please help us set up for the lock in? Oh, and clean it up?" She asked, no evidence of the usual blackmailing and bargaining ways in her voice. "I mean, no one really wants to help**me**, and I don't think Seth could set up all by himself so could you…?"

Ryan waited for a moment, carefully watching the desperate expression in her amber eyes. She really looked like she could use the help, and he would never, could never refuse a damsel in distress. Especially not one who looked like **this**. "Fine Taylor, I'll help. You're probably right anyways; Seth would be able to do any of the heavy lifting."

Expecting to be rewarded with a smile or a time he needed to be there, he listened to the tinkling laugh that bubbled its way out of her pink mouth. He held back laughter of his own as she clapped her hands and let out a small, "Yay!" She was too adorable; he really didn't understand she had no friends, or at least no real friends. "I mean thanks." She corrected herself quickly, pushing her hair off of her face.

"No problem. It's for a good cause anyways." He was surprised to find himself smiling as she beamed at him, her eyes shining and her cheeks pink.

"It's just nice to have someone who actually wants to help…" Taylor trailed off, looking over Ryan's shoulder. He bit his lip, wondering why she looked so thoughtful. Much to his surprise, she leaned over and kissed him on the cheek, leaving the faint smell of strawberry lip gloss behind from her kiss. Before he could even think of something to say back to her, he felt someone tap him on his shoulder and whirled around.

"Marissa." Ryan muttered hoarsely, looking at his tall, blond girlfriend. The girl didn't look angry, only disgusted and thoughtful. He stepped in front of Taylor, wondering what his girlfriend was going to say.

"Hey Ryan." Marissa shot him a self assured smile before tossing her golden locks back and facing Taylor. "Hey Dork-whoops, I mean Townsend. What are you doing, talking to **my** boyfriend?" The malice dripping from her voice suggested that she hadn't really made a mistake, and made Ryan feel worse than he already did.

Clearly, Taylor felt just as bad. Her cheeks turned red, and he wondered if he had seen the slightest glimmer of tears in her formerly gentle eyes. "I was just asking for help for the lock in **I'm**organizing, as Social Chair. Not that I need much, you know better than anyone that the carnivals and dances we throw are usually organized by me."

He felt proud of Taylor for sticking up for herself, but he could practically see the steam coming out of Marissa's ears. "Listen, Taylor. Just because I'm out of Harbor and you have **no**friends, doesn't mean that you can try and take my friends, like you took my position as Social Chair. So do everyone a favor and crawl back into your little cave." He glared at Marissa, shaking his head. He was almost certain that Taylor was about to cry now. "I'll wait for you in the car, Ryan." With that, the blond sauntered away confidently.

"Sorry about that. She had no right to say those things, Marissa's just jealous that you're better than her at being Social Chair. And that you're at Harbor and she isn't." He patted Taylor on the back softly before watching her face become composed of a cool mask.

"Thanks Ryan," the clipped tone she was using made him sure that she wasn't thanking him and that she was hurt. "But I have to go- what was it? Crawl back into my cave and work on plans from the lock in." With those words, she turned on her heal and walked down the hall. Before turning the corner, she turned her head and her face softened into a sweet smile. "Really, thank you. I'm just used to dealing with things like that on my own." He felt his blood run cold as she said 'things like that'. He wasn't surprised that this had happened to her before, but he was surprised that she could deal with it so coolly, taking it in mechanically.

"Shit," he muttered to himself, walking to the door. It was time to go and face the blond Newps- er, Marissa.

…

"Atwood!" Ryan realized that Summer's eyes had almost turned black. He cringed as she slapped his arm. "Marissa was not that mean. I mean, she had her moments, especially around Taylor, but she wasn't a Newpsie-in-training."

"I know, I know, but I just want Taylor to know how much she meant to me, even back then, when she thought she had no friends." Ryan squeezed his girlfriend's arm and his eyes widened as she took him in a bone crushing hug. As she pulled away, he realized her eyes were all teary and groaned. "Not again."

"I'm sorry," Taylor protested, wiping her hazel eyes. "That was just…exactly what I needed to hear." She rested her head on his shoulder as he lovingly stroked her hair.

"What I'm curious about it what Taylor was thinking, having an affair with Hess. And I don't mean because he was the Dean, but because he's just so slimy and cruel." Seth wrapped his arms around Summer, pulling his own girl closer.

"He just paid attention to me, and he liked me. Put yourself in my shoes. If you had no friends and no one liked you, if someone showed you the smallest bit of affection, wouldn't you go for it?"

While Ryan and Seth shook their heads, Summer thoughtfully nodded. "I get it. It's just, Tay, you didn't need to sleep with the Dean of Discipline to get attention."

"Who said I slept with him?" Taylor raised a perfectly arched eyebrow and Ryan planted an affectionate kiss on her forehead.

"Whatever." Summer replied, looking down at the ground. "Brief Case or No Brief Case is on channel 15, let's watch it!" She made a dive for the remote, but Seth held her back.

"No, Summer, my dear, it's your turn for your little trip down Memory Lane." Before his girlfriend could groan, Seth swiftly covered her small red mouth. "Summer…" He warned, releasing her lips.

"Fine." The small brunette pouted, but seemed to accept that it was her turn.

"Good."

"While you shut up so I can think?"

"What would the fun in that be?"

"Shut up Cohen, I have one."


	7. Virgin

Hehe I had fun writing this, even though not all facts might not be correct. I had some issues with writing lately, my head hasn't been very clear. Maybe lack of sleep, maybe too much work, but I'm glad I got this chapter posted.But after the next chapter, I might take a short break. Don't worry, it won't be a long break like the last time.

I just wanted to thank **all** my lovely reviewers! You guys rock, I wouldn't have continued this if it wasn't for your reviews. Keep Rating and Reviewing lovelies!!

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** Virgin**

Virginity was the one thing you could never get back, no matter how much you regretted losing it. Whether your first time was good or bad, quick or slow, painful or gentle, you could never take it back. You could never make the knowledge of **not **being a virgin go away. Summer Roberts know knew that better than she thought she would. And she hated it. She thought she would feel dirty or different somehow. But all she felt was disappointed and a little sore. She didn't feel mature; she didn't feel like she had changed. She just felt…she just felt like the same old Summer Roberts. Well, minus the secret virgin stuff, but at least she wouldn't have to hide it anymore. Still, losing your virginity was not all it was cracked up to be.

She was supposed to wait. That was always the plan. She was going to wait for **him**. The guy she wanted to be with. The guy that was perfect for her, even if he was the opposite of what she ever wanted, of what she ever thought she wanted. It was supposed to be special. Like candles and roses, champagne and music kind of special. She was supposed to be**older**. She was supposed to be rich, comfortable, in love, and passionate. At least she was three out of the four. In bad, their passion disappeared. Sex was supposed to be exciting, fun, but with Cohen, it was dull, awkward, and painful. She didn't think it would be like that. She thought it would be a little awkward, and a small bit painful, but not dull.

She wasn't ready. Summer Roberts wasn't **ready**. She should've been ready. She should've waited. But she knew why she didn't wait. It was because if she waited, Cohen wouldn't like her anymore. Of course he only liked her because of her body; she was a ditzy, popular girl. She didn't have Anna's mind or Theresa's wits; she just had her makeup and her body. And as much as it killed her to admit this, her body wasn't as good as Holly's. But she did have the brains to see that Cohen only wanted to be with her because guys thought she was easy. When he had girls lining up for him like Anna and he rejected him, which meant he wasn't getting laid. She didn't have anything to give to him except for her body, and once he had that, he would probably dump her.

But, if she didn't sleep with him, she was scared that he would leave her. He was Seth Cohen, for goodness sake; she shouldn't be scared of him leaving her. But she didn't understand **why**he liked her. There was nothing special about her. Here in Newport, you could find a girl like her a dime a dozen. There were blonds, redheads; even the occasional brunette. But she, along with them, was just another superficial girl from Orange County. Why would he want her when he had smart girls from Pittsburgh throwing themselves at him? Summer felt bad about thinking badly about Anna when she shouldn't. But it was easier to insult other people instead of insulting herself. The thing was, she was sick of it. She was sick of this; she was sick of pretending to be the shallow Newport girl that she wasn't. She was sick of pretending to be slutty and mindless; she was sick of being just like every other girl in this city. But she couldn't stop, because if she did, no one would like her. She would lose everything that she had been taking for granted, she would lose friends.

Which brought her here. She knew exactly why she was at the Cohen's, but it was for the reason that no one would expect. She was here to see**Chino**, not Cohen. She felt very awkward, possibly more awkward than she felt when she was in bed with Cohen. Atwood and she never really talked. The only time they communicated was when they were with Marissa or Cohen, when they were all together. Talking alone with Atwood would be a different matter, something much more awkward and complex than their usual teasing. She shifted her bag on her shoulder and walked up the top steps. She was definitely not prepared to talk to Atwood alone. He was kind of scary in a dangerous way. She was almost glad that Atwood wouldn't go for her. She was much more comfortable with the cute, sweet Cohen than the dangerous Atwood, no matter how ripped he was.

She rang the doorbell, biting her lip. Hopefully Cohen wasn't home, because she was **not **in the mood to talk to him. She needed to talk to Chino **now**, before her nerves got the best of her and she ran back into her car. She took a deep breath, trying really hard to stand her ground. Where did the confident, bitchy Summer go from a few days ago? Before she had time to collect herself further, the door opened. She breathed a sigh and leaned against the doorway as Chino opened the door. "Hey Atwood," she said, stepping into the house and letting him close the door behind her. Her breath caught in her throat as she gazed into the Cohen's house. It never failed to impress her.

"Hi Summer." The boy sounded puzzled; she would probably be feeling that way if she were him. "Looking for Seth?"

"No, actually, I was looking for you." He raised his eyebrows and crossed his arms, leaning against the wall and just studying her. Summer looked back defiantly, and he looked away first. She felt a stab of pride as she shifted her bag again. "Do you think we talk? Like, just the two of us? Maybe in the pool house?" She pointed outside, suddenly eager to talk.

As they walked outside, Summer squinting in the sun, Ryan opened the pool house door and gestured for her to go in. He was a gentleman, at least. When he finally closed the door and sat on the bed, her on the chair, he opened his mouth. "So what's this visit about? Seth? Marissa? Did something happen to Marissa?"

She would've smiled if she hadn't been so keyed up. He was so protective of his girlfriend it was almost cute. "No, nothing happened to Riss."

He raised an eyebrow. "So this is about Seth?" As she nodded, he laughed. This was probably one of the few times she had seen him look genuinely pleased by something she said. "That's funny. Usually Seth comes into the pool house talking about **you**, and now it's the other way around."

She felt herself blush in pleasure. He really came in here to talk about her? She shook her head; that wasn't why she was here. "It's about well, uhm, something we **did**."

This time, Ryan threw his head back in the fit of laughter he was having. She grinned; she had never seen him look so carefree around her. When he finally stopped laughing, he replied, "You mean when you two slept together? He talked to me about that too. He said that he didn't do too well." When he saw her glum expression, his eyes softened. "He really cares about you, Summer. He's just not experienced, and doesn't know what to do when he gets something he wants. Give him another chance; he really, really wants you."

"But I don't understand **why**. I'm not smart like Anna or unique like Marissa, I'm just me." She shrugged, hiding her eyes underneath her brown locks.

Ryan put a hand on her shoulder and she looked up in surprise. "That's exactly why he likes you, Summer. Because you're you. Because you're **Summer** Roberts. Because all he ever talks about is some nice squirrel you protected, and some mermaid poem that you wrote. I would tell you more, but you really should ask Seth. He goes on for **hours**about you, you know."

She felt her cheeks turning pink again. "But, after we-we had sex…He just seemed so awkward and stuff, I figured it was me who was the problem." She lowered her eyes to the ground.

"Summer, he really, really likes you. In fact, he was planning on going over to your house later to day to ask that you forgive him, that you give him a second shot. Just, go easy on him, ok? He isn't as experienced." He removed his hand from her shoulder, patting her back nervously.

She bit back a hysterical laugh as he said 'not as experienced'. Seth thought she wasn't a virgin! Well, at least no one said stained her reputation with that little tidbit. Still, she felt bad for making everyone believe something about her. "I will, you can count on it." She did her best to try and give Ryan a reassuring smile, but it was a little hard, since she was feeling a little guilty.

"Listen, I have to go. Marissa wants me to meet her at the beach." He muttered something inaudible about Oliver and how impatient girls were. Before walking out the door, he picked up his jacket and shot her a real smile. The kind he only shot at Seth, the kind she had ever only saw him give his **friends**. He seemed debating whether or not to open his mouth, but his blue eyes sparkled. "This, uhm…this was a good talk. So, you and Seth just, er, keep doing what you guys are doing." Before he opened the door, he turned his head back around. "Oh, and Summer? Don't be shy about coming here to talk to me, since we're friends and all."

She felt the first real smile of the day, of the week; make its way across her face. "I won't," she promised, looking down again. It should have been time to go see Cohen, but for now, she wanted to celebrate having a new friend, and new ally who didn't think badly of her. Ryan Atwood.

…

"Aw, Summer," Taylor said, her amber eyes sparkling with mirth. "I didn't know you and Ryan were so close. I mean, you two must be really close since you can talk to him about you and Seth and about your sex-"

"Tay…" Summer interrupted, her cheeks turning red. "That was only once!" Seth seemed to be enjoying her retelling of this memory, because he had a smirk on his voice. "What's with the smirk, Smirky?" She asked, keeping her tone light.

"Just thinking about how badly you felt, and how badly **I**felt that our first time went like that. If I could redo that day, I would've insisted that we waited because you deserve the best Summer." Seth replied, smiling lightly. Summer took his face in her hands and kissed him on the lips. Just as she was getting a little too comfortable, Taylor cleared her throat. "What's wrong Ryan?"

Summer whipped her head around to look at her best friend's boyfriend, whose face was contorted as if he were in pain. "I'm just trying to get the image of Seth and Summer **doing it** when four years ago."

Everyone joined in Taylor's laughter at that. Summer rolled her eyes. "Could you not refer to it as 'doing it'? It sounds gross when you say it like that."

Taylor giggled again before clamping her hand over her mouth. "Whoops, sorry. So, uhm, whose turn is it now?" She looked down innocently, her hazel orbs avoiding all eye contact while everyone looked down at her.

Finally, Seth spoke. "Go on Taylor, we don't bite. We all came up with our weird memories, it's your turn. Just, uhm, don't talk about you and Ryan sleeping together again. I'm still grossed out from the first one." Ryan punched his brother in the arm, earning a small ''Ow!".

"Fine…"

"Just start!"

"Seth, it may come as a surprise to you, but some of us haven't been around for four years so we don't have that large of a collection of memories."

"Taylor, hurry!"

"Fine, fine…Got it!"


	8. Beginnings

Thanks again to all my reviewers!! My next chapter might take awhile to write, but probably will be up by next week. I've sort of hit a dry spell, so this chapter may not be very good, but give it a shot. I was very hungry while writing this and I don't get supper until my friend comes back from the airport, so that may be why. Review loveys!!**  
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**Beginnings**

Seventh Grade was supposed to be the beginning of things. The first year of middle school, no more elementary school. The first year where you were no longer considered a small child, the first year you got your taste of freedom. Above all, it was supposed to be cushy. Seventh Grade was supposed to open new doors to everyone, and for everyone to make new friends. A new school (middle school), a new start. At least it was a new beginning for every child except the children of the Newport elite. In Newport, if you went to private elementary school, that meant you stayed in private school. Coincidentally, that meant that the same children were considered popular all throughout elementary to high school. If you were pretty, most likely blond, and had a lot of friends, you would be considered a popular. And if you had no friends, you stayed that way.

For Taylor Townsend, the latter was true for her. With her auburn hair, wide hazel eyes, and enormous glasses, she was not considered pretty. Which meant she couldn't hang out with any of the popular girls. But it wasn't only her appearance that put people off. Apparently she was weird, which meant that she liked superheroes, anime, and disliked materialistic things. She had never been popular. Not even Seth Cohen, the class outcast, spoke to her. Taylor's only companions were her books. Maybe people didn't like her because of her she-wolf of a mother, but she would never get a chance to ask anyone. Whenever she stepped close to one of her classmates, they made an excuse to get away from her.

And who made these decisions about who was popular and who wasn't? Marissa Cooper and Holly Fisher, whose gang included Summer Roberts and many other girls in the class. Taylor couldn't hold it against those girls though. Those girls probably learned it from their mothers, or at least Marissa and Holly did. Summer had grown on Taylor, at least until the day Taylor gave Summer her poem. The deal was, she would give Summer 'I wish I was a mermaid' if Summer invited her to her birthday party. Summer told her it was two Saturdays from that weekend. When Taylor had come over to Summer's house, dressed in her finest, an embarrassed Doctor Roberts had told her that Summer was on vacation with Marissa, her birthday party had been a week ago. That was the last time Taylor had trusted any one of those plastic girls.

It wasn't fair. Not only was she subjected to her classmates ridicule daily, but as soon as she got home, her mother's sharp tongue started up. If there had been bullying at school, then the words at home could've been considered verbal abuse. Taylor Townsend had no friends, not even her own flesh and blood. She was subjected to not only her mother's humiliation, but to her school mates taunts. Even Seth Cohen made fun of her, and he was no more popular than she was. So what if she was smart, so what if she got better grades than the lot of them? Did it really matter if she wasn't beautiful, if her existent didn't depend on gossip? Rejection hurt, and Taylor had been rejected by almost every possible person. Her own parents didn't even want **her** as their child. But slowly, she was getting used to it.

She picked her books up off of her desk and walked off, trying to find her locker. "Excuse me, excuse me!" She practically shouted, trying to make her way through the big crowd. People shoved her, intentionally and not, but she just ignored it. She was just used to it, this was her life and nothing could change it. She wasn't one of the popular girls; she was barely even considered a geek. She was just Taylor Townsend; she was just **here**. No one cared about her, unless they needed a target for their insults. But it didn't matter who said those words to her, because they would always be the same. Even at the young age of 12, Taylor knew that in ten, twenty years she would be a sophisticated lawyer/doctor/actress and one of the popular kids would be the mail guy.

But she would just have to wait until then. She would just have to endure their words and make them believe that they were crushing her spirit. But in reality, her spirit was much stronger than that. She may lose her pride and a bit of hope, but she would never let it get so bad that she turned into someone else. Taylor Townsend knew how to make them think that they didn't matter to her, but she also knew how to make these childhood bullies think that they got under her skin. In reality, they didn't know anything about her life. They didn't know about the hours she spent locked in her bedroom, crying over her mother's words. They didn't hear the scathing comments her mother said about her own **daughter**.

Taylor Townsend was no coward, but every morning before walking into her seventh grade classroom, her legs shook and she bit her lip. But every day she spent here, at school, was another day she wouldn't have to come back. It was one less day until her graduation, one less day until getting away from Newport and all of the phonies of the Orange County. It wasn't like this place was her personal hell; it's just that no one liked her here. She liked a few people, she thought they would be nice to have as friends, but no one thought of her that way. It would be better to get out of everyone's lives quickly after school, and no one would even notice she was gone. It was her dream to go to Harvard or Dartmouth to study law, and both of those places were sufficiently far away. Taylor walked into the cafeteria, her eyes scanning the room until she bumped into someone.

"Look out, Dorksend," Holly Fisher said, flipping her pale blond locks back. The small 12 year old was carrying a rather heavy pink purse which had just hit Taylor's leg. Taylor didn't glare at the girl, but just looked at her sympathetically. She felt sorry for the blond, because in twenty years, with her brain, Holly wouldn't be judged by her mind, but by her breasts.

"I'm sorry." Taylor muttered, now looking at the ground. She hated how people's gaze raked over her judging her because of her glasses and her slightly frizzy hair. It wasn't fair how Luke Ward was considered special just because he looked good. Seth Cohen seemed much nicer but all he ever got were shoves.

"Wait." Holly grabbed onto her arm before Taylor could turn around. "Riss! Sum! Dorksend just bumped into me." The platinum blond pouted and Taylor had to grasp her hand so that she wouldn't hit the girl. Suddenly, two girls flanked Holly, one small with long, dark hair, and the other tall with a crown of golden hair.

"Hey Dorksend," Marissa sneered, her blond hair pulled back over her perfect purple polo. Taylor envied this girl because of her obvious beauty and how she could look pretty without even trying. Taylor couldn't even look half that good if she tried her hardest.

"Marissa, Summer." Taylor kept her cool, though her fingers were tightly clenched on her red tray. She was not in one of her better moods, but she prayed the girls were in good moods and wouldn't make her day worse. Her mom had already yelled at her for a full fifteen minutes about her flabby arms.

"Dorksend made me spill my juice all over my sneakers, so I say we show her what it's like to get something spilled all over you." Holly smirked, laughing while Marissa nodded. Summer just looked queasy and twirled a strand of her exotic dark around one of her slim fingers.

"Please don't," Taylor replied, trying hard not to beg. She knew bargaining wouldn't get anywhere with these sort of girls, and begging would just drag her dignity through the dirt. But it was too late. Holly brought her arm down onto Taylor's tray, knocking everything down, while Marissa picked up her chocolate milk and spilled it over the stunned Taylor.

The three girls walked away laughing, though Summer did shoot her a regretful look as they walked away. As Taylor furiously took a napkin and started rubbing it against her blouse, she found it to be useless. "Hey!" She looked up, hearing the shout, and saw the skinny figure of Seth Cohen being practically lifted up by Luke Ward. Her eyes widened as Luke groupies started to laugh and make comments like "Cohen's a tool" and "You suck".

Taylor gritted her teeth and marched over there. She stepped in between Luke and Seth and glared at the blond boy. "Leave him alone! You should be ashamed of yourself. What did he ever do to you?"

"He was born." Luke's groupies laughed and started to circle like vultures again. Taylor bit her lip. "Listen, Dorksend, if you don't get out of the way, I-I'll…"

'You'll hit me?" She quirked an eyebrow, her bravado suddenly making her feel foolish. "You and I both know you don't have the guts Luke, so just step away from Seth and let him go." She tried to sound as confident as possible, but her voice wavered at the end of her small speech.

"Townsend, move." When she didn't, Luke clenched his fist but didn't hit her. He rolled his eyes and stepped back. "Come on guys, this is getting lame. If I didn't know any better, I would say Cohen got himself a girlfriend."

Taylor crossed her arms and waited for Luke's gang to go away. Finally, they all walked off, but not before singing, "Dorksend and Cohen sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g. First comes love, and then comes marriage and here comes another loser in the baby carriage!" She rolled her eyes, wondering how boys managed to come out with the most awkward rhymes.

"Are you ok?" She moved closer to Seth, making sure that there were no new bruises on him. He looked fine, except the blush in his cheeks and the anger in his brown eyes.

"Leave me alone!" He replied, brushing past her. "I didn't need your help. You're cursed, Dorksend, so just leave me alone." Taylor felt her eyes well up as Seth walked away. She had expected a thank you, maybe even a smile.

But she had forgotten that Townsends never had friends.

…

"Taylor," Summer said, her brown eyes wide and filled with sadness. "That's so sad. I'm so sorry about that, we were all just having a bad day a-"

"And you took your anger out on me. It's ok Sum, I've heard it all before." Taylor sniffled for a moment before smiling at her friend. "I don't hold it over you, just so you know. School was hard on everyone in their own way, and if people needed to pick on me to feel better about themselves, than its fine."

Taylor looked up at Ryan, expecting to see his eyes filled with pity, but instead found them hardened with some sort of determination. "What is it?" She asked softly, wondering why he looked so utterly composed.

"It's just, we have so much lost time to make up for. I want you to feel as special as you are, especially since you missed out on some of the best things in life." He drew her head up and kissed her softly on the lips, as if trying to communicate something with her.

"Break it up you two!" Seth clapped his hands, looking regretful. "Taylor, I, uh…I just want to say sorry for how I treated you. I didn't want anyone to feel the way I did when I was a kid, but I guess I did just the opposite to you."

"It's ok Seth, I didn't need an apology, but I forgive you." Taylor smiled at her best friend's boyfriend before leaning her head down affectionately on Ryan's shoulder.

"Anyways, it's Seth's turn." Ryan smiled wickedly, probably happy it wasn't his turn to speak again.

"No, man, please…"

"Seth…"

"Fine. I think I've got it."


End file.
